McGaffs On The Fly

The weather has been great for the golfers and it appears the scores are going to be low this week. Although I really don’t want to deal with bad weather myself, it would be nice to see a little wind and rain to add a little chaos to the scores.

We have three days of tickets so when not attending golf we’ve been taking day trips to local towns, yesterday we went to Crail for the day and enjoyed local food and a distillery. We did learn a few thing while in Crail…

1. Always check bus schedules before the trip.

2. There are not a lot of Uber drivers in Crail.

3. Doesn’t matter what the bus schedules say, they run when they want to.

4. Joanie can always find a new boyfriend to bum a ride from, she came through again.

Joan and Brett took a train to Edinburg today, I’m watching the tournament on the Open app and nursing allergies…hope to be back to normal tomorrow for the final day.

Yesterday we took a quick bus trip to Dundee to visit our friend Brian who we met seven years ago when we visited St Andrews for the first time. Brian was the Chef at the hall we stayed in, he since has moved to another dining hall but has left us in good hands with Chef Tom…according to Brian, “Tom’s food is edible”.

Brian befriended us when he asked Joan a question and she responded “I don’t understand a word you just said”. He told Joan that Scotland has been around since the 9th century and he lives in a house older than the United States and that she needs to do a better job understanding the real English language. Short story long…we’ve been friends since.

Dundee is a great town to visit and unlike a lot of tourist towns you visit, everything is free. It’s nice to be able to visit a museum where you don’t have to pay $20+ to walk in (especially for an art idiot like me). And when I have to actually pay $$ to walk into a church…anyway, enough of that.

First day of The Open…heading down soon.

Yesterday we spent all day walking around St Andrews Old Course and enjoying a full day watching golf. It was a beautiful cloudy day in the low 70s, when you moved into the shade you were glad you had a coat on…much better than the 100+ days we left behind.

There are quite a few more people here than our last visit 7 years ago, it could be post Covid hysteria or just the fact that the weather this time is so much better. Last time we came they actually cancelled Sundays play because of high winds. I can only imagine how many people will arrive over the weekend. Brett seems to be enjoying her first golf tournament…we’ll see if that continues.

More to come.

The answer is…

*Get wisdom teeth taken out without anesthesia.

*Go swimming with sharks with a finger ripped off.

*Replay the night before a colonoscopy.

*Replay the day of a colonoscopy.

The question is…

What would I rather do than depart out of Amsterdam Airport again?

Seriously, you need to show up four hours before your flight and you need every last second to board on time? It was not an exaggeration, “better show upon early or you won’t make it”…they were not kidding. Around every corner there was another makeshift “switchback” queue just laughing at you when you rounded another wall. Just to mess with you, they put up a “45 minutes from here” sign follow by another “45-an hour from here” sign 30 minutes from the first. Now I didn’t major in mathematics but even Jethro Bodine knows those naughts don’t carry.

We’ll I guess I have said all I can say good about todays experience so I’ll move on…we made it to St Andrews, first day tomorrow for us…

We spent the last two days on free walking tours (right, nothing is free) in Delft and Amsterdam. Both of our guides were perfect for the job and made the tours very enjoyable.

In Delft our guide was a painter, a graphic designer and on top of that a stand up comedian…he was a trifecta of information. The city was easy to walk around and he made the tour so much fun with his constant jokes along the way. Unfortunately the best joke was at the expense of Americans, I won’t repeat it because I don’t want to get political…I woke up during the night laughing though.

Our walk around Amsterdam was the “alternate” tour so we got the behind the scenes stories and views of the marijuana trade and the red light district. As the elder (old dude) of the tour he kept looking at me to make sure he wasn’t offending anyone…if he only knew. The best part of the tour was when he took us to an area where a local art dealer has set up a hidden “secret art garden” of worldwide artist…according to him some very famous. I guess…we’ll never know…but he seemed very convincing.

Leaving for the birthplace of golf in the a.m.…can’t wait.

Things I’ve learned from locals and my own family about The Netherlands…

Coffee bars in Amsterdam are not actually for “coffee”…we learned this after getting a second hand high.

Biking is strictly for transportation, not pleasure.

FEBO, it’s just like you McDonalds…is it?

You can only make so many comments about the nice girls in the booths before your wife no longer think it’s funny.

In The Netherlands an a-hole is someone “being direct” but when Marc is “being direct” he is an a-hole.

We spent yesterday morning taking it easy and planning our next couple of days before heading to Scotland. In the late afternoon we took a tour of the Heineken Brewery and in the evening a tour of the Anne Frank House. Quite a contrast in mindset for these two events.

The Heineken tour was a money grab directed by the marketing team running you through a grid of advertisements. The carrot was 2 beers at the end of the tour.

The Anne Frank tour, on the other hand, was a somber view of years in the life of a beautiful young girl trying to make the best out of terrible events. Halfway through the tour everyone who had their emergency setting on their phone turned on were shocked by the loud sirens echoing through the house. Turned out there was a fire down the street…but for a moment…we were taken back in time…

Heading to Delft for the day…more to come.

Today was officially Arts Day, or as I like to call it “Joanie’s day to look at every spec of paint while Marco speed views then does crosswords and surfs for later activities.” I was, however, a little slower with my viewing because these two impressive dudes really know how to throw brush to canvas. And the fact that one of them actually cut off his own ear…now you got my attention.

Our first visit was to the Rijksmuseum where Joanie’s dream of visiting Rembrandt’s “The Night Watch” finally came true. I can only hope one day that she will stare at me lovingly the same way she stared down that painting.

Later in the afternoon we visited the Van Gogh Museum where we saw tons of paintings by the coocoo painter who took his own life at only 37. He was a painting freak, in his last 67 days on earth he created a classic painting each day…especially for someone like me that struggles with stick people, that is impressive.

I really can’t say where our last visit was for the day, all I can mention is that it seemed as though they were burning a lot of rope and I actually got a sunburn from all of the red lights. Since I am sworn to secrecy I also cannot mention that my wife thought it was a disgusting place and I thought is was “pretty interesting”. That’s all I have to say about that.

We finished our evening with Brett and her fellow co-workers at a local bar. It was wonderful to meet such fine men and women who at such an early age have all traveled, and worked, throughout the world. And such nice people…the world is in great hands!

Other highlights:

* Great dinner Wednesday at Brasserie Bark – We shared seafood risotto and a shellfish mixed platter. The best!

* Dinner Thursday night at Kantjil & De Tijger Indonesian Restaurant – Joanie, “My husband doesn’t like spicy food, do you have a recommendation?” Waiter, “Yes, we have white rice.” Despite that initial discussion, we found great food that we both enjoyed, we would go back.

24,000+ steps later…

We spent today in Cascais, billed as “Portugal’s most chic resort,” just a short train ride from Lisbon. I don’t know what that means but I do know we visited some great shops, the best fresh Italian pasta restaurant and some great gelato. And just as importantly Brett had the chance to practice her Italian, on an Italian, living in Portugal…finally starting to get some of my money back!

Walking around the town in 70 degree weather (Joanie, “wish I would have brought my jacket”) was so refreshing and watching the beach volleyball, no hands version, made for a great day.

Bonus…suns out buns out.

More Highlights:

* Alfama Doce – Great coffee and pastries.

* Aqafarina – THE best homemade pastas with great service…no really, the best Italian food not in Italy.

Manteigaria – Crazy good pastel de nata (Portuguese egg custard tart pastry)…back twice. Joanie and Brett are now diabetics too.

* By The Wine for cheese tray and wine. Ask for Ricardo, best pourer.

* Fado Na Morgadinha- Good hidden local outdoor setting with awesome live entertainment…locals with great vocals…belting Portuguese songs.

On to Amsterdam tomorrow…

Our plane left DC at 10pm and after a short 6.5 hour flight we arrived in Lisboa (Lisbon in Yankee speak) and spent our first day in that dreaded “sleep deprived” fog just trying to get to the end of the day. “No, I’m really fine…I feel great…No, I actually slept” comments were followed closely with Red Bulls and multiple espressos. I am tired and I’m going to sleep!

Although the temperatures were in the 80’s, climbing up and down the 7 hills of the city put perspiration on the lips of all three of us…it’s only been 24 since a shower, now may be the time. Oh how I miss those wonderful 100+ degree Texas temps…nope, I’d climb 7 mountains to avoid it.

We did experience a great lunch with a wonderful meal and took an early dinner with sangria and tapas. Go ahead and give us a “good try” for ordering the local favorite, sardines. Check…those nasty little suckers are off the list.

We are staying at Hotel Convento Do Salvador which is in a great location and occupies the sight of one of the oldest convents that was established in 1392. Based on the size of the rooms we will get to know each other, and our luggage, very well because apparently in 1392 they lived very modestly. No complaints though, couldn’t be happier with the staff and cleanliness. And as seasoned travel partners in Little Al we know the tricks of small confinement…any shout of “big balls in Cowtown” is a clear understanding that you shut your eyes immediately or you will see someone changing clothes.

Heading to the outskirts of the city for a market and other sightseeing activities tomorrow…more to come.

After a heated and tearful conversation with Little Al explaining why he couldn’t come with us, we decided to take our beautiful daughter instead on our European Vacation. He still doesn’t get the thing about crossing a “bunch of water”, and plenty of “I guess your stupid daughter means more to you than me” punctuated the conversation.

Be that as it may, we are headed back to Europe with the main event The Open (British Open to you Yankees) and side trips to Portugal, Spain and the Netherlands. Our sweet daughter Brett, taking notes and direction from her brilliant father, has worked out a plan to work at her company locations overseas to keep those vacation days to a minimum. She truly loves traveling with the retired folk but has not yet figured out how to make it work financially.

We are currently at Dulles in DC waiting on her to pick us up so we can waste a day waiting for our 10pm flight…hoping we don’t become a cancelled flight statistic.

More to come.